Exhale...but never forgotten

I would write a resolution for 2008 but it really began in 2007. He would have bet everything he had and he wouldn't of even come close to what would develop in the last month here. The last 30days have left me in an oblivious state for awhile. He started to move his legs again and he has new fresh thoughts and emotions running through his body like never before. When too many things change quickly how do you react to them all? You can't stop...no you can never stop. Whenever the 14th creeps in put your head down and get to work. Previewing Nirvana through substances for some... being clued to your chair and sweating relentlessly before making a move for the door knob and passing out cold and falling back in slow motion.... Waking up lying on a bed wondering why everyone looks so worried...

On the flip side of the coin with extremes comes other new and exciting extremes. Its not like it wasn't always there he just needed someone to slap him silly and remind him what happened from 02. An old shoe box at home might be able to help jog his memory. Maybe a quick tour of ILAM  oval and a few videos. Its racing back to life now and he can't ignore it! He knows that the next time he wakes up could be too late...so the alarm has been loud for the last week here. Its the same tune he had burning through his peanut throughout 03-04. The music never stopped, the volume just dimmed down a abit throughout the last 3 years. On the eve of 08 all this clown could keep saying was "please don't stop the music" over and over again. That was fine but what is the music? He has given himself a couple more years to find out what the music will really sound like. Hes heard it before and with time the volume will come and he'll remember what its all like.

What can I say? 

Han Gu the drama of his life. It was a big part of my life that I will never forget. The odds of him back are pretty small... I know things got complicated and alot of pain and misunderstanding resulted. Does he regret them? He regrets the way things turned out ....yes. The people involved know that every character played an equal part in this. Lets be serious with ourselves here...were there complications before the 3rd character joined in the scene? I  think we all know the answer to this one. If there was completeness before the 3rd character joined he would have always been neutral. It was from the unstableness of the prior 2 characters together why the 3rd character ever got more involved. The 3rd character was put in situations he couldn't handle. Did the 3rd character cross the line? Its something he questioned alot as well. All of the characters crossed different lines at different times in the production. The 3rd character took a sudden departure as another character couldn't handle it anymore. Was one of the characters playing the other characters all along? Its something this character suspected over and over again. This one suspected the other character knew everything all along but couldn't face up to it because he knew the result was his own short coming of performance. The answers are out there..yes...will the 3 characters ever meet again is something up for debate. The solo character hopes that the 2 remaining can make sense of the past, the present the future and make a solution that will work for them. Pride aside, guilt aside, and resentment aside and realize what has happened has happened and that there are 2 younger characters that grow to know quicker than anyone tends to think of. Are the weak performances of the 3 main characters already to blame from their parents actions??...more truth in there. What goes around comes around? There is only one way to find out and he will never give himself the opportunity. Everybody knows c'est la vie.

Life is a journey not a destination...why is everybody running? He runs because thats the only way he knows . Slowing it down scares him..the music would disappear and the room would darken with boredom. Pace comes at a cost...08 could be the most expensive year of his life.. has it been already? Can experiences have a price tag attached? they do but they shouldn't! Price should never be the limits for ones actions. The only limiting factor should be your heart. He wants to know what his heart is really capable of..he does...and price won't limit him there. 

The options continue to be endless.... hes aboard his latest!