This song may help

Are you sure you're ready to jump? He knows that its already too late for questions at this stage...these are thoughts that should have been sorted way before it ever got to this stage but now here it is. And then with that he leaps up pushing off and knows that things will never be the same. Whats on his mind paces through on a vicious cycle that won't budge..he tries other stations but they all lead him to the same tone no matter what station he flips to. He tries his best to turn the volume down but as the music repeats continuously the volume grows louder each time it slips back to the beginning. So after awhile the music grows on him...did he ever have a choice? wouldn't it grow on anybody naturally. So he finds himself thinking that even if he had options this is what he would choose anyway. It could be dealt and mastered just like any tune he had ever heard before. Then he feels a relaxed sensation over come his muscles from lack of gravity and air moving faster and faster as he approaches... another thought hits him about the starry sky and how on some nights the sky seems to be lit up and the stars are limitless and you can choose anyone you wanted to and turn it into whatever your imagination would allow.... could it really be that easy? was it only at certain times in our lives that we would get this unique opportunity to make things whatever we wanted to... then he shrugs that off and thinks that is everyday not just today.

He tries to focus what lies beyond or beneath coming up short on both. He figures since he can't make out either of them your guess would be as good as mine....quickly takes that thought back and replaces it with how could anybody possibly know what this clown could really be buzzing about at such a moment like this. He looks behind him and reflects where he came from and the very things that brought him to where he is now. Was it the sum of events leading up to this? Of course but he had to be more specific than that.. were people to be blamed? if you allowed them to I guess.. were people to be thanked? depends on how you view the current state... of course names come to mind but this was never the purpose when he started. He shuts off the candy thoughts and tries even harder to focus.....a friend of a friend comes to mind now...a friend that had once shown more opportunity to him than ever before..he still did... their friendship had changed dramatically over the years until it hit this stage. Who was controlling the relationship anymore? He felt it shifted throughout the time they spent together. Why is he using past tense? the time they spend together for that matter. He had been victim to his friends ambitions all along...or where they his own? Did they have a healthy relationship? at times yes but did healthy exist? The more they meet the more confusing it gets..could they ever have enough of each other..not really I guess... was it a normal relationship?..normal is what you make it to be ......where the intentions always good? I'm not sure anybodies ever are really.. it always leads back to the same thing time and time again.. we were all searching for answers and it wasn't just him.

Friends were going to come and go throughout our lives and how we deal with them is limitless as the amount we acquire in our lifetime is limitless...facebook was living proof of this. Who did he consider friends and what was the purpose of having lots of friends? sure it was always a nice cushion to have them but what was a good number or rather a stable number?? at times he had friends he cherished dearly and tracked them with great interest..lately he didn't care how many friends he had and hadn't respected their importance and usefulnesses for quite some time. Did we acquire excess friends to fill the void in our lives? Can friends really turn on you without notice? was it anybodies business how we treated our friends? are they really our friends is the more important question? how could we possibly have a meaningful relationship...after all we just met.. easy come, easy go is worth more than the paper you print the quote on... and hang it up on your wall to be reminded time and time again
Slim once said I never loved you enough to trust you.. we just met and I just fucked you.. Was this really what it came down to?? how impersonal could friends get that we were just throwing them everywhere and on anything? He knows he can never find the exact answers and trying to would only result in failure. The beat speeds up and a familiar grin gets painted across his face...he questions the reasoning as anybody would. How could he possibly have enough friends this early in his life and no the internet and facebook were just a beginning ...a preview if you wanted to use the words ...of what friends options really were.

Then just as the grin appeared he forgets why he was grinning... He starts to look around as if teaching a toddler how to cross the street but rather than looking for cars his purpose is to see if anybody is watching him...paranoia? there once was a time when checking cars license plates was a priority...those days are gone for the time being. He starts to rub his eyes uncontrollably and realizes he has been crying for along time now. Had anybody seen him? Had his friends being acting accordingly the whole time? How much did they know? How long had he being crying for ? what were the purpose of these tears?
The very things that brings us to our peaks of happiness are the exact same things that make us feel depressed when viewed from a different angle or event. Why were they so interlinked like that? Was there a deeper meaning in this part of the song? so elevating and humbling all at once..he grins again but the tears flow on as well.

He feels a pinching sensation .. quickly turning around and finds himself face to face with the biggest smile he has ever witnessed. But who could be that happy? He tries to make out who it is and then he realises they are all around him...smiling faces everywhere...each one bigger than the last until the smiles turn into complete circles on the faces. He doesn't waste anymore time trying to identify who these faces are but rather why are they here and what do they mean??. Where they all friends? friends had been involved in every major part of his life so why not now he thinks. He reaches out to them...to find them just out of his reach. Then the song dims in the back ground and a voice speaks out "did you really think it was gonna be that easy? Before getting a chance to answer he hears uncontrollable laughter and it grows dark again. He glances up and the stars are gone but the laughter continues..... he shouts out "why"? he knows nobody heard him over the laughter... so without further hesitation he joins in on the laughter for what seems like forever. Then its light again and the stars are visible as well as the faces.... this time the faces are recognizable and he comes to the conclusion that he knows these faces.... 'YES' these were his friends and they were laughing at his expense. Overcome with humility he quickly stops laughing and humbleness fills the air. The laughing stops as his friends realize the message has been acknowledged.

Again hes alone now with the words "did you really think it was gonna be that easy" racing through his mind faster than he can process. Unknown takes over and if this was a joke his friends were playing on him had they gone too far? Was it possible to go too far? Not with friends .. What was the meaning of the last hr? hr? much longer than that he thought. If his friends were giving him a message he was as clueless as the day he entered this world. As that thought took on meaning .....memories of cobble stone roads, birds flying into windows, shopping with flashlights, nails in heads, dalmatians, flooding basements. Some of his earliest memories. A night in which he had fooled his mom and grandparents that he was sleeping determined to stay up. Then overcome with a feeling of hating being young and having no options or freedom. He had always wanted things at a fast pace from the day he popped out. He would get frustrated with rules and limitations placed on him. Had anything changed? people said patience this and patience that.. patience save it..Ive heard enough. He gets uncomfortable thinking of slower songs..it leads him to depressing thoughts of being in a box..not so much as to draw a picture with a stick man in a box titled "i can't get out" but pretty close to that. So a song without words at one time now at lyrics that hes starting to make sense of now. He knows if not controlled,impatience would be his greatest enemy as well...had it all already been? but there was always friends to blame everything on anyway or thank for that matter. Were friends the cause though? friends hold as much blame or credit as he gives them. His friends for that matter were a reflection on who he has become. friends paint a perfect picture... perfect could be a stretch but friends were his driving force without a doubt.

Why was his life flashing in front of him at this very instance? this instance? this was everyday...but today for some reason it was more obvious to him. If you asked him about it he could describe it in so many words that would bring you to the point of climax...if the story was referring to sex or down that road of temptation. After all what good is a story if you can't relate to it right? It was as if while talking he had been accustomed to people having conversations with themselves as his peanut was multitasking and doing the least he could to not make it to obvious on the surface. Did they know? did he know that they knew? did he? He knows that if he had enough friends nobody would bother to investigate. But could his friends be trusted was something he often thought about. On the topic of friends...could anybody be trusted? He had seen the way friends controlled peoples lives that were vulnerable...was his?

The times had started to blend at this point... everything from the faces, to the laughter, the music, memories, tears, and enough emotions to rival a teenage girl going through the worst puberty pimple breakout of her young life. He doesn't bother to ask why...afterall who was he going to ask?...who could possibly construct the puzzle...at this rate pieces were being made faster that the US was printing greenbacks...was that possible though?

What were his intentions? or was it his friends intentions he was more interested in?

With those final questions circulating he decides to get up and stop pretending to sleep..by now it had been years since he had fooled his mother and grandparents... just then the music was louder than ever and he wonders how he could have possibly slept through the noise. He comes to the conclusion that he hadn't slept so what difference did the music make? equipped with a grin and tears from above.... Time to meet some friends he thinks and he leaps again unknown of the outcome

he leaves with a grin on his face and craving some chocolate and a beach.. arriving wastes no time except when the estonians forget how to open the gas lid hahha... what do you mean we ran out of guacamole already??? shot gun drive ripped to the grocery store....watch out for a tall cdn saying talking ,smiling and feeding the ninas around the bakery section...whoops guilty...I'll give you a tip even though you aren't carrying out my groceries to the car like Panama. Trying to think of the best part of the trip and his thoughts keep going back to the grocery store...what do you mean megastore missions??? more like megastore adventures..hahah

1 min standing and having a talk on the beach...next min estonians getting rocked by waves and fighting to keep on their suits...might have been the funniest thing I saw... that or Damian and the Mrs trying to be sneaky around noon after estonian hour ..."I'm just gonna have a shower as she kicks Damian in the pool" Claire loves it though..can I say that on here? too late..

1min hello and next min snoring...Its all fun and games until you get carried away on the chocolate and sleep all day.... hello astrid....well nice to meet you.. ZZzzzz ...guilty of that the 1st day ....I'm not kidding stop the van..too much chocolate and no base= breakfast on the higway . and the Nolan's on a diet jokes continue..hahah

Atvs was a great idea....buzzed and atving hello grade 5...except this time we didn't flip it b4 piranhas hahahah ..well if you would just lift your hat abit and move that fly out of the way of the frogs mouth maybe you would be able to see better. ahhahahhahah

Cruising around on a fatboy...actually it was a goldwing and I don't have any tatoos yet...we'll see if he makes it through the year without one...he has a few in mind but knows he'll be pushing his luck getting one b4 the summer for reasons..."so Nolan whats with the band aid over your eye brow"...old joke right?? of course

So Nolan hows the training/trading going...you tell me? Hes not gonna get down on the music..been there and done that before...when the music wants to run or jump he'll let it....he feels like its consolidating and waiting for the right moment... hes quickly realising how timing is everything....there is nothing worse than the good part of the song coming and someone skips it. Its called progressive because it took time to get there and it tastes so much sweeter when it arrives...... "bro!!" and then its here

chilling in the pool in passion and just laxing when the football teams come and spot the cheer leaders with drinks in hand on one side and the denists with glasses of champagne see their bate on the other side...hes sitting there with a grin on his face and doesn't have a worry in the world..his palms are way past wrinkly and hes thinking about all those goofy people that commit suicide??? do they know where we are?? guess not... he has a bite of sushi and ends up on a yacht and the sun is setting..what a great Idea!!..."hey Ilana & Astrid, whos your friend from girlsgonewild.com??" what do you mean this ship has full time workers?? who put the bubbles in the tub?? sux to be the cleaners...oh wait!

Not sure who was playing tricks on me that night...maybe it was the sharky upstairs.. he could have sworn that he was at the right house...wait he was...he could have sworn he was in the right room...it was opened and so he went in and and checks his mails out for abit and then thought where is this clown? this place was alittle bit silly!! pools lit up on the edge of cliffs overlooking the oceans and hottubs with topless shows and I'm not talking about convertibles... he felt like he was on one of those reality TV shows ..so he jumps on the gold wing and hes off...night driving ..don't get me started on that...shows compliments of me and my grandma grinding..next min jello and jeeps . early ams without sleep as earnings on the horizon...surprises and thats not just his name... burnt again and now he knows... its called staying in the game or something

"Julie, you remember Damian don't you?" 98 reunions...

kennas finds me with last min creepers that sneak up on the final am with flights and rental car disasters... and hes sitting in cabo airport with one of the biggest missions in front of him once he arrives in IAH, wondering what that poison stuff is again that people say is better than the green friend...are they drunk? probably. hes off like he came and mexico was a solid 10

These clowns are driving 6629km's and they have a few events planned cave hunting in New Mexico, sky diving, atv's, Palms in Vegas, poker in Vegas, LA galaxy soccer games in LA, visiting family in Oregon, friends/family in Vancouver...then onto yeg . Hard to journal when chocolate was smudged on my cheeks through out Mexico. I'll have a catch up Journal coming up for that very soon as well as a Road trip recollection with pics and video. Just calm down you wee sharky and soak it all up.....hes not even sure what to be excited about??

So are you telling me its been 2months since an update already....shebal loma. Sitting in a house on Harold street way south in America...Houston?? thinking about it all for a second. He gets lost in the thought but only for a short moment as he returns with the notion that here it is. He knew it was there but just wasn't looking in the right book I guess. He grabbed another and likes his latest hold.

The canal has turned into the desert here....hes still looking across it but it forms a very different picture this time around. Asian stories and thoughts are all but memories now. Days racing through subway transfers in Yeongdeungpo gu office, running for buses at Dangsan and racing for my life to Cornell on a motorbike fit for Lily and getting gang banged with fingers up my rear to turn around and see smiling cute yellow babies seem a lifetime ago. The clowns always talked about it like it was already in the past and they knew that once they left the won cash box it would all seem like a random dream. Well I can now back those yans even more.

People ask him what he does?? He smiles and says good question at times..depends on the mood hes in I guess. There is something called imagination lurking around in most peoples little peanuts upstairs and if they can learn to use it properly with the right confidence the world turns into a never ending playground. He likes the swings right now hhahaha...ricies where does it come from you ask? The question is where doesn't it come from...everything that happens changes the imagination and therefore alters the playground. He is reaching new levels in the play ground though. No more does he get kicks out of riding the regular swings hes moved on to tire swings with less motion restrictiveness.

He's grasping the concept of the bigger the highs the bigger the lows that have potential to follow...well do they? Well lets put it this way..when you feel like king of the playground and your head inflates beyond manegable accounts is when you're most vulnerable to lose your balance and come back down to reality. Reality can be humbling at times but what goes up must come down. So whats the meaning and how do you handle it all? I've realized through trial and error that things that are in a lifetime high tend to have pullbacks to where they 1st encountered resistance on the way up ...but the good side is that when they do have a setback or lose focus they can bounce of the previous resistance point that now becomes support which pushes you to new highs. That is interesting isn't it? Well I'm glad you think so

What does it take? I'm afraid to say all you've got my friend. He had hinted at some music that had started to become clear...well the cd just skipped and no I didn't let one rip either... Thats from a shady song isn't it? Glad your following where I'm going here. And no I'm not Home alone (sorry whackho) Greg take that picture down. The cd which had track 5 playing on repeat did skip though. Are you going to replace the cd? I would never do something like that and I will always keep it close to me incase that song begins to play free of interruptions again in the future. Time is our greatest asset..and therefore wasting it would be suicide.

Is ADD the gift that never stops giving? Well its been in his thoughts lately as to what it really is and what it all means. Energy is something hes never had a shortage of and running out of ideas that excite him are endless. hmmm...... Ya, thats what Ive been thinking as well. Lying in bed knowing that you should sleep but cant help but let your mind race into the future and then the heart begins to kick in and next min your having feeds at like 4am because the peanut was in overdrive again. Does it catch up to him? hahahha if you meant productively than no...his head can throb after awhile but that only further excites him and reminds him of a certain Lovelock he met in Timaru.

speaking of bootcamp..not that one Andre...excited to fully take advantage of my mac once my shipment arrives (I meant Macintosh not MACaulay Culkin whacko) hahahhahah Whats with these clowns and flat screens anyway? Something to do with there Pops? could be...he likes grapefruit as well!

S2k's have been a treat... rev me to 9000...don't mind if I do.. sounds like fun. Can't fully reveal the work of 2008 but he'll chuck a few names out there and see what come back at him here ...Mexico is lurking closer...Caribbean has been chucked out there but not sure what the clown in Panama will finally decide..hes abit distracted with a green friend..which one? the one in the cage for now..I hope. Then road trips..but thats another days thoughts... just like he came...hes gone... Will the thoughts stop? "Hey James...Do bats like day light or something" Well Bruce not that I know of

I would write a resolution for 2008 but it really began in 2007. He would have bet everything he had and he wouldn't of even come close to what would develop in the last month here. The last 30days have left me in an oblivious state for awhile. He started to move his legs again and he has new fresh thoughts and emotions running through his body like never before. When too many things change quickly how do you react to them all? You can't stop...no you can never stop. Whenever the 14th creeps in put your head down and get to work. Previewing Nirvana through substances for some... being clued to your chair and sweating relentlessly before making a move for the door knob and passing out cold and falling back in slow motion.... Waking up lying on a bed wondering why everyone looks so worried...

On the flip side of the coin with extremes comes other new and exciting extremes. Its not like it wasn't always there he just needed someone to slap him silly and remind him what happened from 02. An old shoe box at home might be able to help jog his memory. Maybe a quick tour of ILAM  oval and a few videos. Its racing back to life now and he can't ignore it! He knows that the next time he wakes up could be too late...so the alarm has been loud for the last week here. Its the same tune he had burning through his peanut throughout 03-04. The music never stopped, the volume just dimmed down a abit throughout the last 3 years. On the eve of 08 all this clown could keep saying was "please don't stop the music" over and over again. That was fine but what is the music? He has given himself a couple more years to find out what the music will really sound like. Hes heard it before and with time the volume will come and he'll remember what its all like.

What can I say? 

Han Gu the drama of his life. It was a big part of my life that I will never forget. The odds of him back are pretty small... I know things got complicated and alot of pain and misunderstanding resulted. Does he regret them? He regrets the way things turned out ....yes. The people involved know that every character played an equal part in this. Lets be serious with ourselves here...were there complications before the 3rd character joined in the scene? I  think we all know the answer to this one. If there was completeness before the 3rd character joined he would have always been neutral. It was from the unstableness of the prior 2 characters together why the 3rd character ever got more involved. The 3rd character was put in situations he couldn't handle. Did the 3rd character cross the line? Its something he questioned alot as well. All of the characters crossed different lines at different times in the production. The 3rd character took a sudden departure as another character couldn't handle it anymore. Was one of the characters playing the other characters all along? Its something this character suspected over and over again. This one suspected the other character knew everything all along but couldn't face up to it because he knew the result was his own short coming of performance. The answers are out there..yes...will the 3 characters ever meet again is something up for debate. The solo character hopes that the 2 remaining can make sense of the past, the present the future and make a solution that will work for them. Pride aside, guilt aside, and resentment aside and realize what has happened has happened and that there are 2 younger characters that grow to know quicker than anyone tends to think of. Are the weak performances of the 3 main characters already to blame from their parents actions??...more truth in there. What goes around comes around? There is only one way to find out and he will never give himself the opportunity. Everybody knows c'est la vie.

Life is a journey not a destination...why is everybody running? He runs because thats the only way he knows . Slowing it down scares him..the music would disappear and the room would darken with boredom. Pace comes at a cost...08 could be the most expensive year of his life.. has it been already? Can experiences have a price tag attached? they do but they shouldn't! Price should never be the limits for ones actions. The only limiting factor should be your heart. He wants to know what his heart is really capable of..he does...and price won't limit him there. 

The options continue to be endless.... hes aboard his latest!

Senoritas line the streets and the senors are giving them what they want, of course only after they have finished at least two balboas...after a few empty balboas are sitting on the streets, a kid with chocolate smudged on his face is walking on a mission..hes sporting a mysterious grin????. This time no music and no 310.. don't forget the green friend is undercover for this job as well...why is Scofield sitting and watching the nasdaq fluctuate from the view of his 18a apartment window.

You might ask why Panama??...not you Scofield..we all know why you were here..To break out of prison again.        Panama came along a little early here. I guess when you start to get to popular in asia and your pictures are all over Seoul its time to move on then. Departures...well that depends on whos you are talking about. Mine was interesting to say the least..not a bad preview huh Damian, times are happening thats 4sure. Sam's...he didn;t have an excuse besides hes been desperate to drop out ever since the Won race fired off.

Just gets off the phone and finds out that arm wrestles are the latest trend in New Zealand....not speights any more I guess. He misses NZ this one..pause

Summing up since May could be alittle hard ..so not gonna try but I can say that 2007 was only a preview..  2008 is smiling across the canal and saying you can jump if you want!  Hes ready to take the next leap thats 4sure. 2007 put the cap on and the demons to rest...breaking grounds for big projects were set and time is on his side this time. 25 was a chucked out number that has come to his hands sooner than expected. Hes entered the tournament and is sitting with a lot more chips then he was a couple years ago...no more aggressive moves with pocket 55's anymore...hes gonna bind his time and move through the tables with better and better hands and bigger stacks.

New passports that aren't shy of claiming their "V" status for the time being. They know what this wee sharky did to the other PP once he got going. Not gonna chuck too many names out there while he glances over the Canal..but gonna be some exciting 1st ,2nd and even 3rd's happening...Seoul we know you rank much higher than that...10? Lucky he got extra pages this time..and I'm not talking about tickets stacked up in the TT Ryan..whoops is right brother.

 Glasses were fun while they lasted is something you won't find me saying anytime soon. No more 4eye jokes from you Lilly..better be careful you little baby bum..one of these days I'm gonna come back and your gonna have braces and glasses and be studying for a math test.. pegs not..Lilly has to! Brett settle down I'm sure you'll cash in on someone with  steamed up glasses coming in from outside and looking like they are lost. (cashed in on someone dropping coins the other day..alittle bit funny I guess so.

so getting married huh...not me silly my Dad...I know what your thinking as well..My dad is stealing the spotlight again. I hope he steals the spotlight in WMA  Championships  in thye 800m coming up here...The guy has an impressive 2:03 under his belt and still has an easy sub 2:10

Grmn well to say its been a crazy ride for my family would be the understatement of the century...I suppose. Ryan and I had a nice seat on the train only to loose our balance and fall off in Oct and we didn't have a gps to find the  grmn train again yet.. 

Your probably wondering about the monster in the Han gan (river)...you never know when hes gonna jump out at you again...be careful ....ricies you say huh...we'll see

Sometimes you think you have a handle on whats going and then and maybe you do....next min the Internet is unplugged or your wondering what your doing with all the bulbs flashing?

What happened to training? And running gossip and training stints....its turned into money stints and stints of not sleeping a lot or any!

If people really believe they can do anything they really can. Saying it sounds easy ,,,yes...but who can really convince themselves that the sky is the limit. A few have done it well and we are stilll reading about them today.

It doesn't seem that along ago when we where in a little white car with too many memories and were driving to what we thought was Brazil...we were in for abit of a spike or a clyde or 3

Or Mom telling saying that she was pregnant will Lilly and that seemed like the biggest event ever to happen as we were too young for the accident or Divorce. Now he feels spoiled with random experiences way beyond his times or ever will be able to make sense of. (running, travel, breakups, guilt, experiences, teaching, modeling, brett gets his name up there as well) so what can he feel he wants to slow it down..or has he gone too far....the only time you know you've gone as far as you could..is when you've gone too far....has he? There are probably people i Can think of who would also reserve a ticket on the same cruise ship.....who's the guy smiling on the piano?

Thinking about what you want and getting what you want......this is a good one..maybe alittle too good that I'll leave it at that you never know what box of chocolates is gonna get given to you...hmmm chocolate sounds good right about now....munchies huh sam....

so did you show him the secret video tape...kkkk....it makes him a millionaire and this clown always tells people he could have been on the same canoe but had to wait until hes 25 instead

Vision boards..hes not sure exactly how his is gonna work out yet..he has a few main characters on the board that keep jumping around...some in tents? Heaps of characters still auditioning but a few are here to stay thats 4sure

houses....your an idiot not to have a house or be interested in buying one...thats what I'll touch on houses. Having a place to stay is something we take for granted growing up in front of our TVs...reality tv shows are reality to us because we sit and waist our time and they become our pathetic reality from day today...whoops sorry TV..can we still watch prison Break from my lap top?fingers are crossed but not that tight brett...

If a man stays alone he is the only one who can keep himself from going bonkers..could be interesting to try because all these people around me aren't helping in that department of Mechanical engineering....so my pops and older sister are borderline to jump on a wee voyage of gongshow land......

a green friend who was once drinkable has turned hard and tootsie roll looking..( easy on the tootsie roll its not Halloween)...we don't meet that often so nobody get worried just yet....I'll let you know...so you don't miss out...whoops ricies

hottest days of the year...where could you find him...on the computer wondering what happened...get a grip Marshall

A picture to complicating to describe or put any meaningful words to continues to take shape. Colors running in seemingly endless directions, the artist wonders how he keeps on out doing himself. Anticipation and curiosity keep his head steadily working away with unborn images. The dream comes to him often... that one day it will all be the most beautiful masterpiece he knows.

This fall is promising to be the biggest months I've ever experienced before. It was 2 years ago that one of his good friends was here to visit him and that has not changed. Even more so his best friend is on the biggest quest of his life as well heading to the other side of the world with a bag of green magic and some powerful big lungs to top it off. Another clown I'm quite familiar with had a cake with a few candles on it recently. Was vingt-trois the year that we stopped being  boys and grew up to our full potential... filling out and I'm not just talking about bodies here....well  basketball , a cold and a few dreams later and he’s feeling a little broken. Maturity is something only life can teach you as well as patience. They are lessons I'm coming to terms with over time. Age is but numbers that counts our existence. I wouldn't limit someone because of age, could be the biggest mistake I'd ever make. Acknowledge it but don't pay it more respect then it deserves. 

Expectations well beyond the ordinary continue to excite and leave us feeling hasty about the future. he received a message 12:36am on Sept 1st saying "wake me up when September ends" I think this month is gradually waking us up on its own. 

you worry, you worry, you worry,

then it snaps... was he in Busan on Monday?..right!   hes found his feet again...his ankles will be a few more days here but the king is in full throttle.  hes found a new hobby or something along those lines or rather and old hobby.

lying on your floor 3pm and expecting calls that don't come and your body is beat red..crying out for aloe vera...mornings at the pool with friends. Running appeared and so did the house of travel in his thoughts...this country is like a suction cup and I'm losing it...too late... meeting girls in Gangnam and thinking you like them and then meeting again and knowing you like them..but what do you expect? 

does anybody really know whats going on in this clowns head these days..he certainly doesn't have a clue... teaching one day and then bunking the next with whirlwind buzzing....friends leaving OCT and a dongsang arriving...Jan sneaking up...right now feels like a mission away and everyday has roots from africa growing out of it....

thinking you can handle things and then underestimating GOD...    teaching these bratts these days...if a kid says the wrong thing..no 2nd chance for you buddy...its all fun and games until you spill the wrong gochuchong on the teachers mood....

temperatures that make you want to jump into the Han Gan no matter what the color of the water is.  Biceps that get more attention then the beatles on Fridays. And peircings that bring about more questions then ben Johnson in seoul. 

drowning in korea and all he can grab on to is some kim and hope he can tread water till the han gan stips flooding. Augusts that come along with morning schedules and headaches....   raises that were on his mind...and now he doesn't give a flying you know what... like you think I care that you fired me and I'm back to making only 2mil a month...thanks alot actually now I have time to work on my endurance and  stand a better chance against the mighty waters....

honeymoons and girlfriends keeping his heungs busy...but this clown has 2 feet and a heart beat to keep him busy not to mention whats in that peanut up staris...songus have made an immpression with the heat here...what else would you rather have in your mouth when its 34'c

is it possible to bounce around the globe like a crazzy man  and be responsible at the same time...well soon find out if the monster in the han gan would let my foot go..you animal

you smile with tears in your eyes..stop trying to confuse me..its working. Biking to the top of some beautiful peaks in the alps reaching breaking points to realise someone has won a washing machine!

brothers playing jokes that result waking up the old guy at 4 in the am.. sorry...maybe clean it...I don't mean vacuum the house 4 the 4th time in 2 hrs...  as I'm writing this I Have an old friend peeping over my shoulder and its  probably not who either of you think..its my good buddy giant..he figured that he would come out and see what all the racket is about .. thats cool but those tires need some air little brother...he gives me this shy look and changes gears...oil

stages and I'm talking about the tour landis...nice try by the way...gatlin grins..only to remember that he is sitting on the biggest drug scandal since  big bad ben in seoul... .................. it started with 3hr rides in 721 then took a turn with a few nights in NB and then back through 6months of him and his feet which resulted in a timetrial and a bike collosion and changed realities... after that..we can all imgaine what happened...well you can't actually...rabbit looks him in the eyes and gestures " you don't know what the f*%$ I've been through" and then some stuff about private schools and cranbrook/clarence 

they've both put dates out there 4 the taking...they would probably both put money down as well ... and I'm not talking about black or red either...whoops...see you in Incheon. Of course we wouldn't trade abit of it...its our story and thats what we have to feed off of to reach our dreams.... when your body was designed it had a purpose...were all robots some of us I robots.. but we have to find our destination ...destination unknown...well then let the fun begin..

whos odoyle rules?

no wonder the a/c keeps breakin and he can't sleep

its over...

its still not over  

he knows and I know that these legs can do almost anything...we've proven it time after time. lost in thoughts on a cold day in the middle of November and then a year snuck by and don't tell me . creeping closer to something unexpected and then once you're there striving for something more mysterious. things holding you back that you're not aware of..

a run across borders and all you get is a stamp...why are you smiling lovelock? I can't help it! days building up to it and smiling was the last thing on his mind. he has over a 150 of them to make a difference... believe me this clown isn't going to dissapoint you...even if the days turn longer...stop holding your breath under water its no use...a few bold ones have tried to predict already and they know who they are... The game starts and then your always left wondering whos  move it it...so you wait get impatient and then make a stupid move and months of careful planning go wooossshh!!

the time is approaching...these words continue to run through my head throughout the days....if not now then when? I keep telling myself its not the right time....holding on to something for too long and then realising it isn't there anymore. we've been blessed and he knows..but do we know? we've had flashes of it...a taste now and again... structure means nothing to me without it and.....freedom is never limited unless we let it! The day is now for some and building 4 another...when will it pop?