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Tyler's Pictures
My pictures

Not being able to sleep the night before Panama doesn't strike me as a huge surprise, although it would have been nice. Rather than fight my restless mind, I'm buzzing out with Katie Melua, over Kubik spec sheets for the 'nth time. That and reading over my journals from the last time I was in Panama City. It's been a year and half. I know that alot is being developed at the moment, but I don't expect much else to have changed. I'm only nervous that my past experiences and my present expectations might get in the way this time?

As mentioned it's been a year and half since I stirred things up with Panama, but I'm amazed at how many people have an opinion about a place they've never been for one, and often times a place where they don't even know is. Panama (the country) is the most southern country in Central America, bordering Costa Rica to the North, and Colombia to the South. The economy is service-based, heavily weighted toward banking, commerce, and tourism, due to its key geographic location.

The recent handover of the canal and military installations by the US to Panama, is seeing wake several new construction projects. Apart from several condo/apartment projects, a Referendum was just past in October 2006, to add a third set of locks to the current canal, which will allow for more & larger ships to pass through. The cost for this project is an estimated $5.25 billion.

Panama throughout history has proven to be stable, and with banking and the canal on it's side, I don't see this changing anytime soon. There is just over 3 million people in Panama, and with it's background in commerce there is a huge mix of peoples from all backgrounds. There are seven indigenous peoples in Panama, as well as a large section of Chinese, among others.

Lonely Planet on Panama:
While Panama is known mostly for its famous canal, the country's natural attractions offer an irresistible lure to far-sighted travellers. This oft-overlooked country offers some of the finest birding, snorkelling and hiking in the Americas.

Darién Province Unsafe
Bandits, smugglers, Colombian guerrillas and paramilitary forces make the area of Darién Province between Yaviza and the Colombian border along the upper Tuira River unsafe. However, the vast majority of Darién National Park is relatively safe - travel with a guide is recommended.

There have been reports of armed criminals targeting travellers at Madden Dam in Chagre National Park.

Looking on the bright side: "There is evidence in favor of the argument that the Darién Gap has prevented the spread of diseased cattle into Central and North America, which have not seen foot and mouth disease since 1954"

Back 2 years ago I did the hell amount of research on several countries all around the world. Although most of the reasons I chose Panama are easily explicable, there is something to be said about a good gut feeling.

In no particular order. It's stability, and economy. It offers several tax and retirement advantages to foreigners. Although I've been told Costa Rica might be a better place to learn Spanish, I wouldn't write off Panama. It's location in the world provides a great hub for travel in and out of Central and South America. Flying to panama isn't a huge expense, and the travel time is low at just 8 hours(flying time). A layover in Houston never hurt anyone either.

With tomorrow reporting a frigid -26, mentioning the +30 degrees in Panama wouldn't hurt to lighten the thoughts of a tired mind. Panama has two distinct seasons. The dry season lasts from mid-December to mid-April while the rainy season from mid-April to December. Temperatures are typically hot in the lowlands throughout the year - days usually reach around 32°C (90°F) and only drop to an average of 22°C (72°F). During the rainy season the humidity makes the heat even harder to endure.

Below are a few links, as well as pictures.
CIA - The World Factbook -- Panama
Panama - Wikipedia
Lonely Planet Panama
Panama Tourism

Putting my thoughts into words has become more and more of a struggle. I look back and at least it appears it used to come easy. I remember being able to write forever about nothing, and even more than forever about something. I guess there never used to be any consequence to my words, there never used to be any consequence to my actions. I'm getting old, and the word 'sorry' solves less and less of my problems.

I've developed this whole style of writing around it, and now on this unusual day I feel like I have to stop. I'm tired. Tired of the way I have to create conversation with myself, to get out what it is that is on my mind. It's all become a big diversion; I'm trying to avoid so many different things, and it's all I know. It's taking the best of me. I'm scared of how you think and feel, so I cover up some times even the most simple things that I feel.

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I'm sorry, that in all I've done, I've lost you. I've lost the opportunity for us to celebrate our days together. I've gone through my thoughts, and journals several times, and I'm left with June 1st; Today is mine. I think of you all the time. The things that make you angry, and the things that make you smile. The color of your skin. The shape of your nose...

You're only little at two and half, and by far you're the biggest thing that has happened to me. I don't know if you or I will be given the chance, but I'm expectant of the day that I meet you. I'm all apologies; and want to ask you for forgiveness in what will have become the biggest broken promise of my life. You deserved so much more, and I wasn't able to give it you. I wasn't near the man that I needed to be, and now as history repeats itself, you have to live your life with the consequences of the generation before; my actions.

I've always wanted to give you more than I had, and maybe in this painful backwards way I have? One day I hope that you'll find me, forgive me, and know that I love you.

An hour into the New Year, and rather then being trashed somewhere I'm bringing it in with a sober mind. There's foreign people dancing around upstairs, the neighbor just complained about the noise level, and I'm busy searching around trying to figure out where the last year just went and where my todo list is for 2007. Starting it off are thoughts of the last 12 months, things accomplished, chances not taken, and the two paths which I'm constantly presented with. Working a white color job, for the remaining half of the year, getting into a house, and buying a new car are a few highlights of 2006. 2006 is also the year that saw me to Korea, Houston, Las Vegas, and Mexico. SMP hits the backburners as this site takes up my time on top of 40 hour weeks. Only 7 days now until my birthday, and 10 until Panama City Part 2. 3 months until Dubai. The Edmonton Oilers had the same Playoff run the Flames had prior, and this time Kent and I cashed in on multiple news appearances, as well as alot of random nights. Those and a few miles run with Boss.

The ship comes in for my roommate, and the only hints of change are in the way that I cook eggs in the morning, and a few jokes about rent increases. Lilly's 9, Mel's 24, and Nolan 23. Me. I'm 20 and if my frame of mind keeps up at the rate it's going, I might just reach 120.

I didn't have near as much time to sit, and think as I did the year prior, but there was definitely some buzzes in 06. I blame time for my lack of commitment, but really I just don't know what else to do with the situation. I'll wait of course. You're worth it.

Resolutions. Nope. But goals. I'm in the animal category. How about another property or two, and one on foreign soil. An S2000, Actually 6 of them. Launch this site, and turn the marketing part of my brain back on, as I'm looking at a contract completion, and working towards a successful start-up.

I've seen alot of bad movies, heard alot of bad song, but of course there is still some keepers. Benassi, Alizee, Nelly Furtado, Sarah McLachlan, Enya, Sheryl Crowe, Damien Rice, U2. Puls Radio deserves mention as well. Movies. I'll probably remember heaps that I enjoyed after I write this, but: Apocalypto, Pride and Prejudice, Thank-You for Smoking, Lord Of War, Motorcycle Diaries, V for Vendetta, Blood Diamond... Internet Video's. Of course there's been soo many of these kicking around. LonelyGirl15, and her mate Gemma, Kiwi, SNL, Ok-Go, asian backstreet boy covers, to name a few.

Work. White Collar has definitely won this category, although investing heads up a respectable second. My focus has changed alot, since I first got involved in this race, and I'm happy with where it's going. I know people that like to believe that if you enjoy what you do, you never work a day in your life. I do enjoy what I do, but the quote is still a lie, as I work everday, and although New Years seems like a deadline has come around, the real deadline is in 6 days, when I'll be left with 5 years. 5 years to throw a stone and kill as many birds as possible, Ricies.

Alot happened in the world in 2006. Here's an extensive list: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2006

All the best in 2007.

Searching for myself, Finding Stella. It's really only tempation, and I give in because for over two weeks I've tried to turn my thoughts and scribbles into journal, and it's made my thoughts erratic. Pull yourself together Ryan. The bleeding continues, but you're onto something here. In front of me lays words of past frustrations, and thoughts. Many which have sense, and many without. I'm trapped. So it goes.

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Rewind the clock long enough, and you'll find me dead, lying next to the thoughts that are inside my head today. I new something wasn't right; the whole situation wasn't right, and it I lost it, without even knowing what it was. Everyone has something to believe. Was it nature, and I had no control, or was it the world in which I became a part of? Was it my actions, or those of another? Could the situation have been different? Could I have been different? Do my thoughts and experiences differ much from those around me?

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Silence, Suicide and 1900 bells. At times I'll find myself thinking it's only me, but your recent curiosity rewinds it until, there is two of us again, and so it should be. Damien Rice. Bombs go off, and insomnia sets in, setting everything out of line. A new beginning is near; showing itself more clearly every day as I round the bend towards 21. A vivid tree is in the background, moving forward. A branch just fell to the ground, my name on it. Nature has taken it's course. I'm through fighting it. Thoughts, idea's, building action.

A new chapter recently uncovered, the biggest yet, and I'm nervous. These nights leave me with the conclusion that there is more confusion and chaos than I've previously experienced. Chalk it up, another notch, another day, another ending.

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You've a title, an age, and a stand point that differs from mine. You corner me, and take advantage of it. In your mind you're right, and you've just acted on it. My feet as tightly planted as yours. Your ability to create the situation you did, and then walk away, is only history repeating itself, and I brace myself, as only God knows when it will recur. When it does, as awkward as it may sound, I'll eXplode it out of proportion. You'll know exactly what is going on, and so it is, the continuum.

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It all turns to a blur as Stella leaves my side. Words creating sentences and paragraphs, through them emotions; a tear is shed, and so it is. No one said it would be easy. But noone ever said it would be like this either. All of us really have no idea, and it's your foolishness that hates for me to say it.

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There's arms and legs now, and the situation continues to advance. Without a name, a date, an image, you've become an obsession of my mind. Even if I could put it into words, it wouldn't be worth it. It would surprise you my knowlege of this virtue at such a young age, that being patience, and so it continues. It's a reality that is completely un-becoming of me. I've shelved the things I once held, and have now selfishly once again my hands full. I carefully watch myself, as I'm aware the dangers of leaving them where they presently are. You'll find out some day that I never have left you, and never will.

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She's back, and I'm buzzing once again. I'm not the only one buzzing. You wait on the beach long enough for your ship to come in, and it does. Your confusion, and past is now exactly that. We're all filled with questions, and watching as you walk. I know the past, have a pretty good idea of the future but surprisingly it's the presence that leaves me wondering.

Fyfer y Tomioso in Action A response.

Who's Tomi, and what's an Oso? Dubai hits my visa, and considering I just wrote about Panama, I've caught the fever. Too busy to sleep this weekend I gathered all my pins and put them onto the map. When you see it, you might be thinking, this guy is the shizniks, and I can't wait to see what he's going to look like in a blue school uniform, or. you might be thinking this guy has been working in an office of engineers for far to long, and why is he protecting his pocket. ricies.

That aside I've been taking riding lessons everyday, no Lilly I'm not talking about ponies, although Ahjmed my instructor does mention alot how Camel's are the pony of the new millenium. It's alot like what spooning did to sex.

About these dates. March 28th to April 18th. It sounds like a lot but when you account for the racing circuit, trips to cairo, man made islands, deserts, beaches, limo nights, the racing circuit, private school, and the racing circuit...

Tomi, I'm crazy excited. It's go time Dubai 2007, and knowing us we'll make Cairo happen as well. Rest up. That means you too Kelly.

The first 5 year plan started a little under a year ago, and now with a birthday creeping, I'm re-evaluating just about everything. My outlook has changed significantly. No matter how I look at things, I'm realizing that I am getting old here, and all this short term nonsense isn't leading anywhere. I know that upgrading my math 30 and picking up Physics is a little bit extreme; Don't look at me, I didn't set the requirements.

Smart investing has been replaced with studying. Financial freedom with the security of a dregree. And Rather than defining my own future, I'll join the rat race and stick it out through the best 20 years of my life in a struggle to pay down the family home. My RRSP's Kick in 15 years after that, and. Ryan snap out of it - A wise man had this theory about how time is are most valuable asset, and how we should use it wisely.

Weeks filled with short nights, and long days are hitting the spot as I take productivity to a new level for the second straight winter. Idea's are populating more quickly than they used to, and I'm at this interesting stage where Knowledge isn't the limiting factor; the days continue, as will the nights, and it's 4 years to go.

Plans in motion involving Central America and the Middle East. Even before I finalize dates and details people are already getting nervous, and it's true; These last couple months of 20 are increasingly uncertain. It could be said that in times like these it's best to stay on the known path. However, with each day I push closer towards the making of big desicions, that will yield irreversible consequences. Consequences talk a price, which in lies a larger debate then the original desicion.

8 weeks until I'll be 21, which doesn't really spark much interest as far as privileges, however it does open up a whole new country. 21 does hit another note; where I realize my 5 year plan starts whether I'm ready for it or not. Plans in motion continue, and I'm stuck trying to figure out what happened to my youth, and why there is an electricity bill in the mailbox with my name on it.

I thought I was going to stop talking about Panama, but today I take the country to new levels. 2007 arrives, a very small fraction of the year has passed, and my eyes are glued to the klr page in the kawasaki catalog. I look over to tell my friend about the impressive power/weight ratio, ricies, and I'm busted in high definition for the first time. All this and I'm half way to Panama. The genre hasn't been determined yet, however there is enough megapixels going around to make Brandi question who these two on the airplane are; And more importantly what they're up to.

Panama. I pull my journals and my thoughts together, to paint the picture. Of course the buzz will be there; foreign hands, the greater one, maxed visa's, Shakira, among others, however this time it looks completely different, and expectations have a tendency of clouding an otherwise good view. If not that; Tyler you never brought a beach ball, the joke's over.

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Dreams strike leaving me without wings at 2:30 in the morning. Once again I'm there, and don't know why. To play with my mind a little more, coincedence comes at 9am, and in a funny turn of events my heart jumps.