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| Spin |
PermaLink - Jan 7, 2006
Your mind isn't the way that it should be, and that is because you've done something to it. You know what it is, but you're not about to start talking about it. Your views have changed, so have your thoughts. You're not even nervous about it. You're actually not nervous about anything right now. You've experienced more than you should have, but you're not about to start thinking about that right now either. There is a rough schedule in front of you. Do you follow it? If you do, you know the consequences. If you don't, well you can sit back, and think about it again tomorrow, as you have the past. Anticipation, and Integrity come to mind, but you brush them both off quickly forgetting about your agenda. It comes, Then goes, and you go back for one more. Why didn't you bring in more then 2. You can afford it. Also turn off repeat. You're getting bored of it. But. The moment it starts again, you remember why, and you forget about it. The phone rings. You answer it, and the agenda starts. Things are quickly changing. open heart, and happy tears, they always are. It's happened before you even know you pressed start, and then you take it with you. because you can. Tonight. 3 songs are on your mind, and tonight you will listen to them, and will forget about them. You'll meet up, and then you will easily want to forget that any of it ever happened. From expectations to dissapointments to dreams to reality. Then you snap your fingers and none of it matters. Boredom, and politeness. Since when, and predendation? You call it, they know it, but nothing changes with the situation. Now, if either of them had been there, things would have been different. It's that situation that leads you on a different road home. It's eight and definitely not solo, there is plenty. You're actually extremely comfortable given the circumstances, relaxed, then Cron and then bam bam bam. Is it meant, that you were meant to be where you thought you were meant to be? Twenty, and a signature for the night? How about it? A bill, and age. It would have come easy that night. Given a sleep and a new day? The mind is easy, and weak at times. You're not even sure what to make of that. You eyes are harder to keep open now, and one more time you think about twenty. Take pink. Then... Twenty. Sleep on it. |
| Birthdays |
PermaLink - Dec 20, 2005
Tuesday the 20th of Decemember rolls around faster then ever, and then comes Christmas, and New years, and then on the 8th Elvis and I will both be celebrating our birthdays. Although Elvis hasn't been around for the past 29 years, he would be turning 71, while I'm onto my 20th. I'm going to be going to the: Globe Tap Bar and Grill 10045 109 Street NW Edmonton, AB T5J 1M1 (780) 426-7111 There is no line and no cover before 10. Please free to contact me via email ryan@ryanfyfe.com, or phone 780-885-5431. Hope you can make it, that your year went well, and you have a good Christmas. Ryan |
| Internet Dating |
PermaLink - Dec 15, 2005
Funny story: A guy gets the shock of his life, when he meets a girl that he's been dating online for 6 months, for the first time. http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20051209/113414040002.html |
| Do you smell that |
PermaLink - Dec 6, 2005
Here is a story that I recently came across. A cold March wind danced around the dead of night in Dallas as the doctor walked into the small hospital room of Diana Blessing. She was still groggy from surgery. Her husband, David, held her hand as they braced themselves for the latest news. That afternoon of March 10, 1991, complications had forced Diana, only 24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an emergency Cesarean to deliver couple's new daughter, Dana Lu Blessing. At 12 inches long and weighing only one pound nine ounces, they already knew she was perilously premature. Still, the doctor's soft words dropped like bombs. "I don't think she's going to make it," he said, as kindly as he could. "There's only a 10-percent chance she will live through the night, and even then, if by some slim chance she does make it, her future could be a very cruel one." Numb with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the doctor described the devastating problems Dana would likely face if she survived. She would never walk, she would never talk, she would probably be blind, and she would certainly be prone to other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to complete mental retardation, and on and on. "No! No!" was all Diana could say. She and David, with their 5-year-old son Dustin, had long dreamed of the day they would have a daughter to become a family of four. Now, within a matter of hours, that dream was slipping away. But as those first days passed, a new agony set in for David and Diana. Because Dana's underdeveloped nervous system was essentially 'raw', the lightest kiss or caress only intensified her discomfort, so they couldn't even cradle their tiny baby girl against their chests to offer the strength of their love. All they could do, as Dana struggled alone beneath the ultraviolet light in the tangle of tubes and wires, was to pray that God would stay close to their precious little girl. There was never a moment when Dana suddenly grew stronger. But as the weeks went by, she did slowly gain an ounce of weight here and an ounce of strength there. At last, when Dana turned two months old, her parents were able to hold her in their arms for the very first time. And two months later, though doctors continued to gently but grimly warn that her chances of surviving, much less living any kind of normal life, were next to zero, Dana went home from the hospital, just as her mother had predicted. Five years later, when Dana was a petite but feisty young girl with glittering gray eyes and an unquenchable zest for life. She showed no signs whatsoever of any mental or physical impairment. Simply, she was everything a little girl can be and more. But that happy ending is far from the end of her story. One blistering afternoon in the summer of 1996 near her home in Irving, Texas, Dana was sitting in her mother's lap in the bleachers of a local ball park where her brother, Dustin's baseball team was practicing. As always, Dana was chattering nonstop with her mother and several other adults sitting nearby when she suddenly fell silent Hugging her arms across her chest, little Dana asked, "Do you smell that?" Smelling the air and detecting the approach of a thunderstorm, Diana replied, "Yes, it smells like rain." Dana closed her eyes and again asked, "Do you smell that?" Once again, her mother replied, "Yes, I think we're about to get wet. It smells like rain." Still caught in the moment, Dana shook her head, patted her thin shoulders with her small hands and loudly announced, "No, it smells like Him. It smells like God when you lay your head on His chest." Tears blurred Diana's eyes as Dana happily hopped down to play with the other children. Before the rains came, her daughter's words confirmed what Diana and all the members of the extended Blessing family had known, at least in their hearts, all along. During those long days and nights of her first two months of her life, when her nerves were too sensitive for them to touch her, God was holding Dana on His chest and it is His loving scent that she remembers so well. |
| Daria |
PermaLink - Nov 18, 2005
One day where everything comes together, and then everything falls apart. I start going back through the memories. The earliest that it goes back is to a wooden chair in the kitchen on Range Road 222. It's Ironic as the world has changed since that moment, and I'm now on 232. From 4 to 19 in hundreds of pages. Going through the years and then this one pops up and grabs my attention. "As another year goes by, another takes it's place"... Thank-you twelve and thirteen, for that line to hold with me. Minus 30 night before Taiwan, 30 plus hours in the civic, 120 spent in Honolu, 400 more in a foreign country. You could say, I guess that, it was then that really the numbers started. Seconds ticked into minutes, and into hours, and now I'm into months and years. Two parrarel lines drawn 8 months apart, both having their climax at Maxwell Taylors. You start with what is inside, and then you work your way out. The harderst thing that you'll ever have to change is yourself. That brings back to January 19 like a sore thumb. I was 17. It's not to mention those lines that keep wrapping off, and starting over. November 18th has brought alot more wisdom then I had to work with in January, in which I am thankful for. The road ends here, as to what is best and what is easiest. Not that it ends per say, but that it crosses. What once used to be the best, would now be the easiest. That is for several factors, but you always have to ask yourself why you are doing something. If you are first in line for the easy way out, but aren't doing what is best anymore, it is time to re-think what line you stand in. It's funny that I picture these huge rips in the furniture, and vases that have been set off axis, but then I also see this white light when I can put the cat to rest, that tells me that something is different. Then there was that dream, that put everything together, contrary to what was happening outside. 256106, 114, 1554, 1572, 6 |
| 1000 mgs |
PermaLink - Nov 12, 2005
Let me tell you about this girl that I met. Gene. Hygene. ricies. So what started out as teary eyed days with Pat Benatar turned into night shift with Sarah Brightham. It's apparent that their are exciting things going around, and I've managed to keep my feet on the ground. 2 Pages of indented lines, the making up of a sphyder. Actually Nolan, could you please give me your hand and pull me down from here. Ringo Starr haircuts, and I'm polishing calcium pills at 12 hour intervals so that my teeth will stick with me a little longer. A new idea that sparks today, nothing to do with my teeth, enyet it has everything to do with them. Last night I was sleeping, dreaming and. I'm sitting with two guys at the end of this long hallway on gymnasium like bleachers. Of the guy gets up and starts to mop the floor. I notice in the corner of my eye this huge insect that looks like a cricket with butterfly wings. It's probably about the size of my hand. The hallway is completely empty, and I'm starting to get really uncomfortable about it sitting their looking at me. The guy with the mop asked me if I could come him a hand. I think about it for a minute, but then realize how uncomfortable that I feel, and I start to run down the hallway with a towel. I'm swatting it all over the place, as the bug is in hot pursuit. I get to the end, and there is no where for me to go, or the bug for that matter. I've never jumped out of bed before. But today Sergey Bubka would have been proud, my eyes were fixed directly on the top hinge of my bedroom door. It slowly loses it's wings, and fades out from flesh to metal as I gain consciousness. There is not amazing colors or dreamcoats, but there is something going on in there. If that is not random enough, words from a few days ago are starting to reshape the last two years of my life, and also the next to come. It's interesting what your mind will do when something comes to the surface, that you had chosen to not believe is true. A quick mein kampf happens, until you sort out another way to deal with the situation. At this point you're better off than before, but the situation is still laid to rest and hasn't fully been sorted. It's at that point where the world would have you leave it. People are satisfied with leaving situations alone, because it's the easier thing to do. It's the choice that doesn't create conflict. Not everyone can be satisfied like that, as the conflict is created inside. The same goes for the normality of the situation. I remember the first time I read this poem in New Zealand. "If you love someone, let them know, for they may die tomorrow, and never ever know". Situations that have been passed up, with or without love involved, we all have experienced. Right now stands at 22839 and when I get back from getting the milk it will be a few thousand more. I'm not talking about dollars so don't get ahead of yourself. The thing is that as numbers grow, and goals change, there still is a life that has to be lived. The live that is here today, and whose course can be changed at any moment you decide. "The sad thing about life is not that it ends to soon, but that we wait too long for it to begin" |
| Mental pain |
PermaLink - Nov 2, 2005
Now I've always thought that pain is mostly mental, it just makes sense. I've got myself into trouble with that statement before, but here is why I bring it up: I just finished polishing several articles on different Diseases and Illnesses. What about like: Tinnitus, and Thrush, Lice, Tuberculosis, Porphyria. What is Tinnitus? ricies. Anyways. After you look at pictures, read and write on these different topics, you start to feel unclean and a bit sick yourself. Why is that? Mental. Why is it that some people will faint when they give blood, and others can be surgeons? A quick question. Do you beleive that it is possible to give yourself a headache? Or a sore leg? or stomach or a pimple or a? It's an interesting idea but after writing this article I haven't been able to stop itching my head: Pediculosis, is the technical term for infestation of lice. Lice are parasitic insects that live on the bodies of humans. Often times this condition is known by its more common street names: Head/Pubic/Body lice. Some quick information: 1. Children aged 3-10 and their families get Head lice more often 2. Females are more likely to get head lice than males 3. In the United States African-Americans have head lice less often 4. Human lice do not occur on pets or other animals 5. Lice do not have wings and cannot jump. 6. Lice cannot burrow into the skin. A lice are spread by direct contact with a person who is infested. Body lice are spread through first person contact with the body, clothing or any other items of a person that are already infested with lice. Pubic Lice are most often spread by intimate contact with an infested person. Head lice take place on the head hair of a person, body lice on the clothing, and pubic lice mainly on the hair in the groinal region of a person. Each lice egg may hatch one nymph that will grow and develop to the adult size live. Lice when fully grown are about the size of an average sesame seed. Lice will feed on blood off their carrier once or more a day by piercing the skin where they are located with their tiny sharp mouth parts. Most commonly symptoms of lice infestation include itching. If excessive this itching or scratching of the infested areas can cause sores. These sore area's can become infected. Lice that exist on the body and hair can and are usually treated with medicated shampoos or cream rinses. Special combs, Nit Combs, can be used to remove lice and nits from the hair. Washing clothes in a high heat environment can eliminate body lice quite quickly. When trying to eliminate lice, efforts should be focused on the source, hair/body/clothes, and not the surrounding environment. There are some pretty nasty things out there. My suggesion: sensitize yourself from as many as them as possible. Don't get curious and look at the pictures, or read the info. Avoid contact with infected people and washing your hair never went too far astray. |
| Nine Million Bicycles |
PermaLink - Oct 28, 2005
I'm coming off of my second injury, and commitment isn't a word that I've heard around for a while; except for putting my Powerbook to sleep at night. Today I had a 'meeting' over the telephone with an insurance investigator. I told her I was self employed. No longer than a minute later she asked me if I was looking for a job. hahahaha - are you? Next minute I know we're talking about dependents, and Marital Status. I felt like I was getting quized. It's not coming to me. Off that thought, I need to get back to bed. I'm at these crossroads and with monster headphones on, Katie Melua singing to me in the background. Sweet Katie. My Wonderwoman. Ricies. I can't figure out whether I've lost it, or if I ever had it. Piece by piece I'm trying to put it together. Let's go back through it here for a minute. <% # Does anyone actually use asp? $Commitments = null; $Job = null; %> My motorbike is gone so that makes transportation not an issue either. Wait. Is this Tuesday? It's Friday and I'm living the American dream without the American, and without the dream. A few more terrible movies later, and it's amazing what a sleep, and a new day will do to a mood. And what is the big deal with confidence? Good Post.. Imagine this. Today. You can have the worst day in the world. Catch some Z's, and it's a new day. In the big picture what happened yesterday really means nothing. Almost makes you want to take advantage of it. You won't though. Neither will I. Halloween. Freak Show. For some reason this comes across as not being the first time that I forgot my I.D. when going out. That's like when I forgot my running shoes when going to track practice. Some things. wow. After kicking around for a couple hours my i.d. Shows up, and the night starts with a walk down memory lane. Peching with Stella in the bleachers at Scona. Did I sort something out right then and there? I did. Things on my mind, yawns with myself, and meeting up with Josh. Next minute losing Josh, not being able to get back in, and wondering what I was going to do. Here why don't I call him. Wait. My battery is dead. Good thing my phone still looks nice when it doesn't work. Never did end up finding that monkey. Fast and the Furious. Pat. Lexus? Ryan Zaal, and Union Hall. Can I kiss you? Yeah I guess so. K. That was not mistletoe style. Red Face. no. Confused. Yeah a bit. Relax. I still have my clothes on. Is this a costume contest or a. Dressing up rudely on Halloween with no planning would have been pretty average. Good call. Really if you add it up, I didn't even get ricied, Confidence points were going the right direction, and I enjoyed random talks with Ryan Zaal, and it's to bad that bus left when it did. Now tonight. That is a different story. Confidence huh. Ok take them, and try not to rub it in. Here's a quick video compilation of October. Press Play To Start Video The days that you you sort out the problems of the world. I love those days. Today wasn't one of them, but the thought of having one. Exciting, and a new day rolls over in a few minutes. Thanks Time Change. I'm really soaking up the extra hour that you gave us. Am I going to get a car? It's debatable, and controversial. Normally that's a word saved for issues like Abortion, Euthanasia or even Iraq. What about Slavery, Adoption, Privacy Rights? Immigration, sexism, Legalizing drugs? Capital Punishment, Ethics, The Economy, and Home schooling. 9 Million Bicycles in Beijing. Me spelling Beijing right on the first try. This list. Jumping on a Bandwagon or Subliminal messages. The good life. No Stress. Good sleeps. Options. Ideas and Insurance Settlements. |
| Instability |
PermaLink - Oct 15, 2005
When someone does something that they know that they shouldn't do, did they really have a choice. Maybe what I mean to say is did they really have a chance. You can take two people, present them with the same fork in the road, and one is going to have an easier time than the other choosing the right path. Is there such a thing as the right path? You could argue back and forth with God and Evolution and such topics. The side that you take in an arguement like that might lead you to think that you know the meaning to life. How can we really know though. At least up until now there isn't and 100% proof to either side. If God was a gaurantee - why would he leave so many of us here to die, without the information or say it as proof that we individually would have needed to make that choice? If Evolution was a gaurantee - why would there be two thousand years of person to person proof that Jesus walked on Earth? We've already seen alot of weird things happen in our lifetime, and I think that we will see alot more. Our world is too much of an unstable place, and as time grows on we just grow out further. Every Civilization has fallen. How long do you think we have? Look at America. We're built on a pretty rough foundation. Events like the Hurricanes, have humbled us, and showed us how vulnerable we are to things we can't avoid. Our entire economy is built on Oil, and we are feeling the effects of the instability in the Oil world. Will the next war be over oil. Was the last one? The Persian Gulf has over half of the word's oil sitting underneath it, but they can't seem to get their act together above the surface. The United States is the larget consumer of Oil, and they only have 3% of the world's oil reserves. How long can they go on, being so dependent on Oil, and borrowing as much as they do. Well into the Trillions, the US is the world's largest debtor. That makes me wonder where all that money is coming from. The 30's showed us what happens when the markets collapse. Are we smart enough to keep our economy going in the 00's? I don't think so. Not when we have monkeys like Bush kicking about. Not to pick on him in particular but here are some funny links: Google Search Results for "Miserable Failure" - Number one: George Bush Google Maps for "Miserable Failure". - Number one the White House George Bush Quotes |
| Time management |
PermaLink - Oct 14, 2005
I love the dreams where you are able to sort out real problems in them. Before you wake up you've already been pretty wise with time. The next part about waking up and not remembering them is a bit of set back though. One thing I do remember though is that really I haven't lost it, and just think that I have. It's true and in dream story mode I was able to prove it to my skepitical sleeping self. That's a pretty exciting thought. Rather than showing up at school in the nude, I'm in Guess, and everyone else is frantically running around trying to sort out what is going on. Take Control. I remember that from ryanfyfe co. That was back in the days of Content Management. Apparently it's take me somewheres as well. Now I'm talking about Lucid Dreaming though. Here is an interesting website on Lucid Dreaming. |
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