Are You High, Man .hk2_intro { width: 270px; margin: 10px auto; text-align: center; }#survey_content { padding: 5px; }.survey tr { margin: 0; padding: 0; }.survey td { display: block; margin: 0 0 4px; padding: 0 0 8px; border-bottom: 1px solid #ECEEDF; }.survey tr.dep { padding-left: 20px; font-size: 9px; }.survey tr.dep td { width: 230px; margin: 0 0 1px; padding: 1px; border-bottom: none; }*html .survey tr.dep td { margin-left: 20px; }.survey tr td div.nobold { margin: 5px 0; }.survey tr td div.nobold label { font-weight: normal; }.survey tr td div.nobold label input { margin-bottom: 2px; }.hk2_ad { margin: 20px 0; }Take our Drug Survey and see just how f-ed up you really are. Results will post on 4/27. The Drugs Survey Age choose one...1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 Gender choose one... Female Male GPA choose one...0.0 0.1 0.2 0.3 0.4 0.5 0.6 0.7 0.8 0.9 1.0 1.11.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 1.6 1.7 1.8 1.9 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5 2.6 2.7 2.8 2.9 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 3.6 3.7 3.8 3.9 4.0 Do you smoke cigarettes choose one... No Yes Which of the following have you tried (check all that apply) Crack Meth Acid Heroin Ecstacy Cocaine Shrooms Inhalants Other Do you smoke pot choose one...NoYes How often do you smoke potchoose one...More than once a dayOnce a dayOnce a monthOnce every three monthsOnce every six monthsOnce a yearLess than once a yearDon't Know How much money did you spend on weed in the last yearchoose one...Nothing $1 - $100 $100 - $300 $300 - $600 $600 - $1000 $1000 - $1500 $1500 - $2000 More than $2000 Don't Know How much weed to get you through a month choose one...None 1/8th oz 1/4 oz 1/2 oz 1 Ounce 1 1/8 oz 1 1/4 oz 1 1/2 oz 2 Ounces More than 2 ounces In your town, how much does an eighth cost choose one...Less than $20 $21 - $30 $31 - $40 $41 - $50 $51 - $60 $61 - $70 $71 - $80 More than $81 Don't Know How do you consume weedchoose one...Joints/Blunts Pipes/Bowls Water Pipes Hookah Vaporizer Cooking It Dont't Know Other What age did you first start smoking weed choose one...1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100About how many times have you seen the following moviesThe Wall choose one...Never1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 Wizard of Oz choose one...Never1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 Super Troopers choose one...Never1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 Half Baked choose one...Never1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 The last 10 minutes of 2001 choose one...Never1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 Do you drink and smoke at the same time choose one...Never Once in a while Sometimes Often Always Do you prefer alcohol or drugs choose one... Drugs Alcohol What side effects of weed do you suffer from (check all that apply) Dry Eyes Cottom Mouth Memory Loss Laughter Munchies General Malaise Newfound appreciation for jam bands Do you own a Bob Marley poster choose one... No Yes function toggle_marley(){if($('own_bob_marley_poster').value == 1)$('bob_marley_poster_black_light_sensitive_container').style.display = "block";else$('bob_marley_poster_black_light_sensitive_container').style.display = "none";} Is it blacklight sensitive choose one... No Yes Have you ever been TOO stoned choose one... No Yes Do your parents know you smoke choose one... No Yes function toggle_parents(){if($('parents_know_smoke_weed').value == 1)$('parents_smoked_with_container').style.display = "block";else$('parents_smoked_with_container').style.display = "none";} Have you ever smoked with your parents choose one... No Yes Which of the following have you done while stoned (check all that apply) Talked to your parents Played Mario Gone to Class Watched Adult Swim Had Sex Gone to the Gym Made an important decision Bought something you regretted later Other Do you take drugs like Adderall to help you study choose one... No Yes function toggle_adderall(){if($('take_adderall_study').value == 1)$('take_adderall_fun_container').style.display = "block";else$('take_adderall_fun_container').style.display = "none";} Recreationally choose one... No Yes Do you know how to roll a joint choose one... No Yes Have you ever gotten in trouble with authority (RA, police, etc) for using drugs choose one... No Yes How good are Cool Ranch Doritoschoose one...Pretty Good Really Good Mindblowing Have you ever tried to impress someone with how much you smoke choose one... No Yes Are you stoned right now choose one... No Yes Written Wednesday, Apr 9 by CH Staff 3 likes.
The Weekly WYR: April 11th It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.Would You Rather...Always smell like you never shower, or always smell like you wear way too much cologne From JustinRun naked down the freeway durring rush hour for a mile, or run naked in a septic tank for a mile From mitchDo you even read these, or am I just wasting my time From DanHook up with the oldest person you know once, or be hung over every day for the rest of your life From NoahNever be able to find your other shoe, or never be able to find your keys From NoonieServe in Heaven, or rule in Hell From ChristopherBe in a Mexican prison, or Mexican hospital From BasilFinally, this week's winner of the I Really Hope This Is Real Award is Riley, who sent in this.Lisa, I know you read these every week so this is for you. I love you Lisa. I knew we were meant to end up together ev- or since I first met you some two years ago in the park. Since then, every day spent with you has become increasingly better. Lisa Bethany Bennett will you marry me From RileyOMG, LISA!!!111 WILL YOU!!!If you have a good WYR, submit it below. Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.alertsFirst Name: Last Name: Would You Rather...or Written Yesterday by Jake Hurwitz from Hunter College 1 like.
The Freshman Virgin Who Just Doesn't Get It Tries to Pick Up Guys at the Ba If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "U" and "I" together at a restaurant getting to know each other.Hi, my name's Mindy. You might want to remember it now because you'll be screaming it later, across the bar, when I'm leaving and you realize you don't have my phone number.Hold hands with me in public if I'm wrong, but is your name ZeusHey, let's get a pizza and kiss each other goodnight.So, you live around here Oh, you do That's cool. So hey, maybe we can get coffee sometime next week.Do you have a mirror in your pants Why Because I can see a girl looking for her soulmate in them.So what's your favorite kind of music that you'd want to dance to when you're my date for my cousin's wedding next weekendYou have really nice eyes that might see my boobs later and nothing else. Nice shoes, wanna girlfriendThat shirt is really becoming on you. I really like it. Blue's my favorite color. Written Yesterday by Mindy Raf 22 likes.
Why Facebook Should be Limited to College Students I don't really use Facebook much, but I am a little annoyed by how it's turned into an orgy of pointless applications used mostly by people who shouldn't have social networking profiles in the first place. Here are a few examples of people who shouldn't have Facebooks:The World's Fattest Man KEEP READINGWritten Saturday, Apr 5 by Steve Ethridge from Taylor 39 likes.
Fergottica - Emily Dickinson #414 The conceit of Fergottica is that it's the "forgotten erotica" of famous authors. There's a whole lot of it, and whether it's legit or not is a matter of contention among literature scholars in every dingy coffee shop in Connecticut. Today I bring you the forgotten erotica of Emily Dickinson. 'Stick it - in - me.' #414 He placed his Hand upon my - Breast -It heaved with my gaspI knew not whither my Hands flew - Nor why they flew so - fast - I found his - Manhood! - In my GripIt swelled beneath my - Touch - And tho his - Blood - seemed all thereinI thought I saw him - BlushHe tweaked my Nipple - playfully - I tapped my lover's Nuts - And as he Tore my dress in twainHe growled - 'You dirty Slut!'My Heart beat quick -With every thrust - It quickened e'en - more - On Stomach, Back, upon my Knees - In Bed or on the FloorHe left the Moment that his SeedWas spilt upon my - Chintz - But I have found an Equal loverN'er before nor Since - Written Saturday, Apr 5 by Katie Marino from University of Pittsburgh 11 likes.
Is Today Spring Hot Girl Day At Your College Every year, on the first warm day of spring, all of the hot girls that have been in hiding for the winter suddenly re-appear. It's called Spring Hot Girl Day, and it's the best day of the school year. Just answer the questions below to see if today is going to be Spring Hot Girl Day at your school, or if all of the hot girls are still hibernating in underground caverns!Where is your school North, near the top of America somewhere (0 points) Somewhere in the middle of the country (1 point) On the east or west coast (2 points) The south (3 points)Look out the window, does it look like there's any chance it could rain It is raining (0 points) It's pretty dark. There's some cumulonimbus action going on out there (1 point) There are small clouds here and there (2 points) Nothing but clear blue skies (3 points) KEEP READINGWritten Today by Kevin Corrigan from Rowan 13 likes.
Typical Day in Class While sitting in class (any class...it doesn't matter) I came to the realization that I can't stand 75% of the people in the room with me. There are so many times during the day that I feel the need to just get up and scream at people....but doing so would make me seem crazy. So I just sit back and leave the complaining up to my thoughts. Hopefully you can get an idea of what a typical day of class means to me. Class Begins It may only be a 50 minute class, but there is nothing like the feeling I get right as it's about to begin. I have to take a deep breath and realize that it's the longest possible time until class is over. If we're watching a movie or something like that I'll gladly go to class with relief on my mind. Otherwise I know I'll be dealing with the typical bullsh*t I hear every day.Inevitable NapI don't mean to fall asleep in class.....it's inevitable. I can get 2 hours of sleep or I can get 16 hours of sleep the night before. Either way it doesn't matter....it's near impossible to stay up and alert. Especially in the case of early morning classes. Having no more classes in the lecture halls, I tend to insult my professor's career choice by passing out during any announcements he or she may have pretty often. I just need to make sure I get the study guide for the test.....whenever that is. KEEP READINGWritten Monday, Mar 31 by sean from SUNY Cortland 118 likes.
It's Like They're Trying To Be Dumb Do your parents not understand technology Do they ask you stupid questions Do they send you absurd text messages Do they even know what a text message isIf you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, send it to parentsjustdontunderstand (at) gmail.com. And, hey, if we publish it, send your parents a link. They probably won't understand what it is.My dad bought himself an iPod to take on vacation and asked me to put songs on it. I gave it back to him full of music. He then picked it up and held it to his ear like a cell phone. - Steve from Port Elgin KEEP READINGWritten Yesterday by Susanna Wolff from Columbia 20 likes.
CH Sports Weekly: In-Depth NHL Playoff Analysis! Ethan: I'm just going to come right out and ask it. Is there anything Candace Parker can't do "I'm a million years old!" exclaimed Summitt's mother after Pat's eighth title.Amir: I wanted to see her wear sweats. If she's going to go for a pajama-based uniform, why not commitEthan: Personally, I think she can probably do a little better than Sheldon Williams now. So many other draft busts are out there; it's time to give Marcus Fizer a try, baby. Do you think Memphis' practices are going to start including free-throw shooting now Or is John Calipari going to stick with "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"Amir: When a team shoots 59% from the line, isn't it mathematically in your favor to foul them on every posession I think Kansas could have blown them out using my patented Hack-a-Team method.Ethan: What are you, the ghost of Don Nelson And don't tell me he's not dead; look at his face.Amir: Two questions: Is Kansas the best team in college basketball this year And was that the best NCAA Finals game you've ever personally seenEthan: I liked Kentucky-Arizona in 97 better, but I'm a Kentucky fan. The great thing about this game was that anyone with a brain could tell it was about to turn hilarious because Memphis couldn't shoot free throws. Amir: Everyone except Billy Packer. Ethan: I'm hoping Chalmers' shot takes the place of Christian Laettner's on highlight reels now. And yes, Kansas is the best team. How can you disagree Amir: I dunno, I just still like Georgia as a sleeper, I guess.Ethan: Is Bill Self going to get the "security" he wants from Kansas I mean, he's only making $1.3 million a year. With the dollar weakening, that's barely enough for a studio apartment in Lawrence, KS, right KEEP READINGWritten Today by Amir and Ethan 8 likes.
Famous Presidential Quotes, Translated George W. BushEvery nation in every region now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.F*ck you, Switzerland.Abraham LincolnFourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.All men are equally superior to women.George WashingtonI cannot tell a lie.How do you know I'm not lying to you right now KEEP READINGWritten Friday, Apr 4 by Tommy Wilder from SUNY Geneseo 89 likes.
Moby Kombat Written Tuesday, Apr 1 by Jimmy Craig from Emmanuel College 63 likes.
Today's Hottest College Girl Matchups Here are today's matchups. Vote now, these girls are counting on you! jessicadcristi jennifersamantha joliamandasu kimberlykayla Written Today by CH Staff 2 likes.
Issue #52 The best part of wakin' up (at 6PM on Tuesday).I used to have a coke problem. Every time I did it I wanted to sing karaoke.-Yanni GogolectOhio State Fan Who Doesn't Get It"I like Ohio State so much, I bleed red."-Nick DoremusPolitically Correct Bigoted Preacher-Heterosexually-challenged individuals are in league with Satan!-Members of the New Testament-deprived Biblical community are a threat to America!-You must not allow your daughters to wear jewelery or makeup lest they begin to offer sexual favors as their livelihood!-Vimmy NothingCrazy Presidential Coincidences1. Lincoln's secretary's last name was Kennedy, and Kennedy's secretary's last name was Lincoln.2. Abraham's son was present at the assassinations of both James Garfield and William McKinley.3. The magic ice bullet used to kill Kennedy was actually produced in a secret underground laboratory in Lincoln, Nebraska!-Alec KretchunThe doctor said my grandpa had the lungs of a 9-year-old... who'd been smoking for 70 years.-James SThe Writers of "Meet the Spartans" Doing Stand-up"Remember when Britney shaved her head... Ok thank you, that's our time. Hope we were able to remind you of things."-Jonathan GabrusWays In Which To Actually "Party Like It's 1999"1. Ensure all electronic party equipment is Y2K compatible2. Suggest "Austin Powers"-themed costumes to guests3. Actually care about Will Smith's "Willennium"-Patrick CasselsPeter Pan in Various Situations- In Traffic: "I ain't getting any older!"- In Waiting Room: "I ain't getting any older!"-At Psychiatrist: "Do you have any idea what it feels like to know you're never going to die"-Amir BlumenfeldI don't know what India's flag looks like, all I know is they should trade with Japan.-Tommy WilderWhy Smoking Weed Is A Lot Like Going To A Baseball Game-A hit is always good-Things can move really slowly-You'll spend fifty dollars on food-America's favorite passtime-Martin Van OsPutting the "D*ck" In "Masochistic"A man with a giant scar on his face meets his friend at a bar.FRIEND: Jesus, Man, are you okay What happened"MAN: I hurt myself.FRIEND HowMAN: No, idiot. I hurt myself.-Dave FishelMusings on the Game of BridgeHere's a question of theory: When your opponents open the bidding, should you climb in with a light hand, hoping to disrupt their auction, or should you act only with sound values so your partner can judge what to do If you are still reading this you are an enormous loser.-Jeff RubinClick here to submit your own 105%. Written Today by 105%-o-matic from Bucks County Community College 0 likes so far. Be the first!.
A Sim Checking In... When I didn't have free willHey Doug, It's been a while, yeah 7 years I think. 7 years since you last looked at my life. No hard feelings man, I learned English, that's a plus. No more with the pah flah bah attah mah shwah ah.Oh! Other good news, I learned free will. That was a plus. For the first six months of your hiatus, I was just standing in my living room doing nothing. You wouldn't believe how many times I soiled myself.Things with the wife are getting a little sh*tty, unfortunately. She's not putting out so I'm now forced to enter Move_Objects_On into the cheat box, move her out of the blurred area and just watch her naked. I'm starting to feel a little guilty. I think that's why you stopped, too. KEEP READINGWritten Friday, Apr 4 by Doug Kellner from University of Hartford 32 likes.
Ice-Breakers College is awesome. It's the only place in the world where young adults can find beer and girls in the same place. Unfortunately, College does have its downfalls, they're called classes. Interestingly enough, the agony felt by classes can not be attributed to the endless amounts of homework and excessively difficult exams, but instead it roots from the event that your T.A. puts you through in the beginning of each semester, the "Ice-Breaker" activity. Ice-Breakers, "IB's" as we call them in the biz, contribute to 94% of all suicides in the United States. Why you ask Because they blow. They are boring. They are useless. But most of all, they make that one guy talk way too long about what he did over spring break. Seriously, since when was Africa in need of volunteers Anyways, this is why I have taken it upon myself to make a few new ice breakers of my own.1. The Circle GamePick one student, tell him to state his name and one thing that makes him unique. Then, make him pick one person in the classroom. Ask the two to step into the circle. Watch them f*ck. KEEP READINGWritten Wednesday, Apr 2 by Jason Michaels from University of Illinois 67 likes.
Paperboy's Diary SUNDAY: Finally! Tomorrow morning I start my paper route! I'll have so much money to buy things that normal children my age purchase in stores... of some sort.MONDAY: Paper route started today. Pretty good first run I think. It was pretty easy because the boss said "Throw papers at the white houses and not the red ones". Nice, I like things simple. Had a run-in with a kid on his tricycle. No big deal, fell off my bike, hurt my knee... it's only skin right! Only thing is that SAME kid was at like three other houses. Anyway... tomorrow will be better. (NOTE TO SELF: Ask boss about obstacle course at end of route.)TUESDAY: Had an extra house on the route today. Aparently the guy owns a painting company because I'm pretty sure his house was red yesterday... whatevs. Broke a lady's window by accident. Who installs a mailbox right next to three windows!!! I think it's cool though because she chased me down the street for a block with a baseball bat, but gave up... must have worked out the anger. SAME KID! SAME TRICYCLE! 4 DIFFERENT HOUSES THIS TIME! (NOTE TO SELF: Remember note on Monday about the obstacle course - tore up bike pretty bad.) KEEP READINGWritten Wednesday, Apr 2 by Josh Thatcher from Columbus State Community 41 likes.
Round 1: Fight! Round one has begun. Here are today's matchups. Vote now, these girls are counting on you! Written Today by Jake Hurwitz from Hunter College 0 likes so far. Be the first!.
Fantasy Brackets!!!!1 So you hate money and hot girls right That's the only logical reason you could possibly give us for NOT FILLING OUT YOUR HOTTEST COLLEGE GIRL FANTASY BRACKET YET. That's right, I'm talking to you, ERIC.Honestly, it's incredibly easy. And even better, the person who fills out the best fantasy bracket gets one thousand dollars. There are also some pretty great prizes for our runner's up- 500 for second place, 250 for third. And all the top 20 contestants get a free BustedTee.So stop reading this article immediately and go fill out a fantasy bracket already! Jesus, Eric, are you f*cking listening to us Written Today by Jake Hurwitz from Hunter College 1 like.
Stupid Question Hall of Fame: The Week of 04/07 The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free BustedTee. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CollegeHumor.com/StupidQuestions.The NomineesA) Scottsdale Community CollegeSubmitted by JeremyProfessor: This scene is from the movie "This is Spinal Tap", A parody on Rock n' Roll in the eighties.The Brilliance: Spinal Tap wasn't actually in that movie though, rightProfessor: Spinal Tap isn't a real band...B) Pennsylvania State UniversitySubmitted by RachelProfessor was asking what the early ways of food preservation were...Student: Drying food.Professor: Yeah, that's a good one, what elseGenius: Feasting...so you could just preserve the food as fat on your bodyProfessor: ...I was thinking salting. KEEP READINGWritten Today by Streeter Seidell from Fordham 4 likes.
Your Random Hook-Up Translated Simply roll your mouse over the text to reveal its true meaning!Don't worry, we just broke up. We're going to break up once he/she finds out about this. I need to wake up early. You need to leave after I'm done. Have you been tested You should probably go get tested now. Last night was kind of a blur, huhYou looked a lot better at the bar. We should hang out again. We should hook up again. I definitely feel a spark between us. What's your name again Can you put your number in my phone What's your name againtranslate('hookup'); Written Thursday, Apr 3 by Neil Padover from Tufts 32 likes.
Moo jones Written Wednesday, Mar 26 by Chris Blesso from Boston University 9 likes.
Roommate Confessions: Issue 20 It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com.My freshman year I roomed with a guy who was a little on the dirty side, ok, well lets not sugar coat it, his nickname was slob. Well my sophomore year I was rooming with a new friend and well some things never change, and my old roommate picked up a newer dirty roommate. The floor I was on decided to get him back one night at Wal-Mart when they were giving away roasted chickens. My buddy's and I came up with a great prank so we decided to pick one up. One weekend while the two dirty guys were out at a frat party getting drunk, my buddy's and I went into their room, uncovered the chicken and put it under their futon. The next day anytime we walked by their room or talked with them we couldn't help but laughing and they didn't catch on. As weeks went by pizza boxes and dirty clothes piled up and they knew nothing of the chicken. Two months later we finally had enough of the smell and told them about the chicken. They had no idea about it. It came out from under that futon covered in a white fur and looked like a rabbit.Dave, Tri-State UniversityThe guys next door were total douche bags. They would do stuff like break beer bottles on the bathroom floor or set off fireworks in the hallway at 4am on a Tuesday. One time they puked on our door. I wasn't sure how I would get them back...until I read Roommate Confessions! The piss puck was a great idea, but I wanted to take it one step further. They left early for spring break. So I cracked open some eggs into a pie pan, froze it, popped out the frozen disk and slid it under their door. When they came back from break, they found a rotten puddle of egg goo in the middle of their room. Now they just stay at their frat house. Thanks College Humor for saving my life!Matt, South Dakota State University KEEP READINGWritten Friday, Apr 4 by Jeff Rosenberg from NYU 6 likes.
Seven Jokes That Came True .ct_joke { margin-bottom: 15px; }.ct_intro { margin: 10px 0; font: italic 12px verdana; }.ct_joke .ct_bdr { margin: 10px 50px; height: 1px; background: #CCC; }.ct_joke h4 { font: bold 14px arial; }.ct_joke h4 strong { font-size: 18px; text-transform: uppercase; color: #000; }.ct_joke h4 small { font-weight: normal; }.ct_joke span { text-align: center; font: italic 12px arial; }.ct_joke .ct_obj { margin: 5px 0; }.ct_joke p { margin-bottom: 10px; }Some jokes are funny because they're true. Here are seven jokes that were funny because they weren't true, yet.Joke: The Chris Rock Show (1997)Reality: OJ Simpson's "If I Did It, Here's How It Happened" (2006)In their first ever sketch, the writers of HBO's "The Chris Rock Show" really did predict that OJ would one day come clean and tell us with a wink how everything happened. Chris Rock's comedy was always fearless - his guest for that premiere episode was Johnnie Cochran. There was a little bit of luck in how close Chris came to foretelling the future, but it wasn't magic. He just extrapolated OJ's smug attitude and thought, "Where is this heading, and how can we take it one step further" Unfortunately, like so many writers on this list, they underestimated how far their subject would go.Unfortunately, Pootie Tang has yet to come true.Joke: Mr. Show's "Blowing Up The Moon" (1997) Reality: Toby Keith's Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American" (2001)When "Mr. Show"s Bob Odenkirk and David Cross wanted to lampoon the aggressive American pride of country music in 1996, they wrote "Blew Moon," a patriotic music video by "C.S. Lewis, Jr." Lewis celebrates an absurd NASA plan to blow up our lunar neighbor by standing in front of the Stars and Stripes with a guitar and warning the celestial object, "You don't mess around with God's America." It was therefore surprising when, five years later, real-life country musician Toby Keith, in an equally pompous though far less ironic move, decided the best way to respond to our crucial post-9/11 international relations was by throwing on a Stetson hat and informing the Middle East, "We'll put a boot in your ass." Keith's "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" expresses a nationalistic desire to do to every country east of Turkey what "Blew Moon" wanted to do to a heavenly body. And while the Moon may seem the more foolish target, unlike the Middle East, it doesn't have Kalishnikovs and angry Muslims. KEEP READINGWritten Yesterday by Jeff & Patrick 18 likes.
